Home.......
A word so many use, yet so few understand.
Should it surprise me that my body, though pained with being back home, is also renewed and refreshed as if emerging from a crystal clear spring in the early morning? When first we crossed the rift into the feywild, I was welcomed with memories and even renewed power. There is nothing more satisfying than feeling the power of magic heavy in the air and in everything around me......yet what is this sadness I feel? Something is amiss...and even though I have been gone for so long, I can still feel the subtle, foreign power coursing through the air....drawing me closer towards greystar and calling me as if wishing to see a son that has been lost but has now returned. I can feel the ring.....perhaps it is because of the failed attempt to manipulate my mind, or because I have known it's power since a young age.
We trekked on into the forest surrounding Greystar, sticking to the only path that the forest held.....and as we neared the city, we came across a group of wild fey.....which had demanded our magical equipment.....now, I know I speak for the others when i say that was not an option.....and yet, after dispatching the creatures, Kharask gives me glances that show his disapproval.....as if I was wrong. He knows nothing of this realm, nor of it's inhabitants....and still he acts as if his way is the only way.....the fool. While intelligent, he has no co mmon sense....and it shows. If he thinks every creature in the realms is going to rally to his cause, he is an idiot......and I say that with the utmost respect.
The others all view me as mad.....even after all of the time we have spent together, and yet, they turn to me for help constantly......I am tiring of the constant bickering....and the mistrust. Let them view me with suspicion....let them pass judgement, but when the time comes, they know that I am the one who will be there by their side. My purposes and goals are my own....much like theirs are their own....and yet, i am the only one constantly brought into question.
I could see it in their faces as we moved on, and I knew what they were thinking, however, what could i say? As we neared the gates, Azriel let us know, and we were met with a squad of Bladesingers.....all of whom were reluctant to deal with me.....of course, under the circumstances, I cannot say i am surprised. Ehrentaelik was seperated from us as we were led into the city, being put in confinement for the time being. After Kharask, merrik, azriel and i waited for a few moments, we were met by a man who turned out to be the Drow's mentor......
He informed us that the Order of White Owls has sealed itself off from the city, keeping all from the tower which seemed ominous compared to the rest of the structures in Greystar. My refusal to stay silent obviously infuriated the man, and I could tell that he held a measure of animosity towards me.....however, we came to an agreement of sorts....because as it turns out, my fellow Eladrin are starting to see the perils of dealing with the corrupt order of wizards to which I used to devote so much of myself......and it seems the only wizards left are the most poisoned of them.
I will not lie....when he told us that we were to enter the tower and eliminate the wizards who were spreading their tainted views through Greystar, i felt joy....and the rising of a familiar hate and rage......I am not sure that i can go through with this without losing myself, but i do not have a choice. I know best what we are up against, and I must lend my power to my companions, but the ring.....I hear it calling my name......I feel it in my blood.......even after all of this time, the temptation is still there. I overcame it once.......can I do it again? Or am I doomed to lose myself into oblivion and condemn my comrades to death?
Kharask worries about my connection to this ring.....he has never openly stated as much, but he does not have to. He is right to worry.....I myself am worried and I can only hope that when the time comes, I am strong enough to hold on to who I am rather than fall back into the person i was....I am trying....but it is not easy.....and if Kharask only knew how hard i fight to remain true to myself, he would understand.....but alas...this is not his conflict.....it is mine, and I must endure it alone. In three days time we move to storm the tower, and in three days time, we will see exactly where my heart lies....even now I cannot say.....I have never been one for unnecessary violence, but I have also never been in a position to exact revenge on someone who stole my life away from me. I could use Freyla's guidance right now, but she is nowhere to be seen....I am alone in this....and I feel as though I will be swallowed up.
There is one thing i do know.....when all of this is done, one way or another, my name will be spoken within my home again....and if Ehrentaelik's mentor is true to his word, he will stand for me to be welcomed back amongst my kindred.......but should he prove to be untrustworthy, he too will be yet one more obstacle in my path to being reunited with my people.......
I hope that I do not make the same mistakes as before.......it will prove to be my undoing should I fail at maintaining my composure......
Friday, October 23, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Dalanor-A return to power
(This is an in depth look at Dalanor and some of the changes in appearance and attitude that he carries. It is not so much a character profile, as it is alook inside his mind.......)
I feel lost...................
The world I thought I knew is not as it once seemed. Everything was clear cut, and straight to the point.....and now, now it's an intermingled web of lies and deceit. My path has been made clear to me, and my power grows daily.....though I cannot say i am surprised. There are things from my past that have been made clear.....and I would be foolish to step onto the same path I once followed. I was young, full of hate......and quite.....arrogant. Look where that got me now.....I have a daughter, and yet I've never known her....I had a wife......and only held her again after her death.......I had friends....and they betrayed me. It's obvious that I must do everything in my power to make things right......my people are being led by the same deceitful, arrogant, dangerous people that set me up for a fall, and this is something I cannot allow to continue. Before, i cared for nothing but my magic......and that led to me destroying someone's life....someone who is still very close by......but now, I have something more to drive me......I have my daughter...and she is being taught by these same people who tried to shape me as their tool.
I will not stand by and allow her to be used as I have, nor will I allow the corruption of greystar continue......it may take time, but I will inevitably free my people of the utter wrongness that fills my home...even if I am no longer welcome amongst them....I will help them to see what I now do, and should they accept me back someday, that is fine, but even still....I am the one responsible for raising my daughter....I will be the one to teach her....and I will be damned if she refers to him as father.......
Kharask has allowed his own personal goal to cloud his judgement....and cares not for anyone elses cause, yet expects all others to follow his.....he has a new advisor.....Vershulk.....and he specializes in a dark, twisted form of magic....in fact...it is not even magic....using the mind to direct psychic power at an enemy in twisted ways far different from my own methods.....my methods are subtle and simply nudge.....his methods speak of complete control and twisting of anothers mind......I do not like it.....it is for this same type of power that the drow sacrificed their place within the feywild, and look where that got them. I fear that Vershulk is manipulating Kharask, and this in and of itself is disturbing. I do not know his motives, nor do I know his purpose.....but the fact remains that I do not trust him. Kharask grovels at this mans feet as if he were a god......let him.I was once the least sane member of this little group....and now? Now i am the only one who can see clearly. Everything ties together......from when we began to take contracts, to now.....it all revolves around what is to come....even my situation.....it is all tied together, but Kharask cannot see it. Maybe Ehrentaelik will....he seems to be the only one other than me who is able to see things as they are......
Merric is changed, and seems as if he is lost......he discovered his poeple, saved his father, and lost a friend.....with baerds death, everything seems different. He was the only close tie to the group that merric had.....and i feel for the young one. Azriel is another story.....noone knew about him before we wnt to the library.....before i saw my life. His mind was stolen from him....much like mine was, except....he did not overcome the effects.....and his life, at one time, was miserable.....mostly due to me. I used him...as a slave....treated him as though he were trash....and discarded him as if he were nothing......it is partly my fault that his life is in shambles, yet when I spoke to him, he was calm. I expect that a conversation will arise from our previous talk, and it may not be altogether pleasant. I know he will hold the past against me....I also know that he will never truly be able to forgive me, but hopefully, he can see past the way I was, and see how i am now....that is all I can hope for.....
Ehrentaelik? Well, he has something planned..... but I have come to trust him.....despite who he is and what he represents.....I actually view him as a friend...though he can be a bit moody, and very standoffish....I still would trust him with a great many things........however...the fact that he utilizes talents which are generally not known unless trained by an Eladrin......fascinates me. i expect that soon we will learn of his past...but for now, i must be content to wait.....
I suppose that when I first met these people that have now become almost something akin to family...albeit a messed up, dysfunctional family, I thought that they were merely 2 dimensional creatures with no drive....it's refreshing for once to see how wrong i was....about a lot of things.
I am not who i used to be, that much is clear...and I cannot ever allow myself to return to that way of thinking.....I am not some arrogant fool with no idea of how much I still had to learn......I know my limitations....I know what is required to gain more power.......experience and hard work.....and I know that my life is not the most important. There are things worth dying for and living for....there are people worth fighting for, and I intend to do my part. When all is said and done, I will not be remembered for being the strongest, the smartest, or even the most powerful....I will be remembered for helping to make a difference....
I feel lost...................
The world I thought I knew is not as it once seemed. Everything was clear cut, and straight to the point.....and now, now it's an intermingled web of lies and deceit. My path has been made clear to me, and my power grows daily.....though I cannot say i am surprised. There are things from my past that have been made clear.....and I would be foolish to step onto the same path I once followed. I was young, full of hate......and quite.....arrogant. Look where that got me now.....I have a daughter, and yet I've never known her....I had a wife......and only held her again after her death.......I had friends....and they betrayed me. It's obvious that I must do everything in my power to make things right......my people are being led by the same deceitful, arrogant, dangerous people that set me up for a fall, and this is something I cannot allow to continue. Before, i cared for nothing but my magic......and that led to me destroying someone's life....someone who is still very close by......but now, I have something more to drive me......I have my daughter...and she is being taught by these same people who tried to shape me as their tool.
I will not stand by and allow her to be used as I have, nor will I allow the corruption of greystar continue......it may take time, but I will inevitably free my people of the utter wrongness that fills my home...even if I am no longer welcome amongst them....I will help them to see what I now do, and should they accept me back someday, that is fine, but even still....I am the one responsible for raising my daughter....I will be the one to teach her....and I will be damned if she refers to him as father.......
Kharask has allowed his own personal goal to cloud his judgement....and cares not for anyone elses cause, yet expects all others to follow his.....he has a new advisor.....Vershulk.....and he specializes in a dark, twisted form of magic....in fact...it is not even magic....using the mind to direct psychic power at an enemy in twisted ways far different from my own methods.....my methods are subtle and simply nudge.....his methods speak of complete control and twisting of anothers mind......I do not like it.....it is for this same type of power that the drow sacrificed their place within the feywild, and look where that got them. I fear that Vershulk is manipulating Kharask, and this in and of itself is disturbing. I do not know his motives, nor do I know his purpose.....but the fact remains that I do not trust him. Kharask grovels at this mans feet as if he were a god......let him.I was once the least sane member of this little group....and now? Now i am the only one who can see clearly. Everything ties together......from when we began to take contracts, to now.....it all revolves around what is to come....even my situation.....it is all tied together, but Kharask cannot see it. Maybe Ehrentaelik will....he seems to be the only one other than me who is able to see things as they are......
Merric is changed, and seems as if he is lost......he discovered his poeple, saved his father, and lost a friend.....with baerds death, everything seems different. He was the only close tie to the group that merric had.....and i feel for the young one. Azriel is another story.....noone knew about him before we wnt to the library.....before i saw my life. His mind was stolen from him....much like mine was, except....he did not overcome the effects.....and his life, at one time, was miserable.....mostly due to me. I used him...as a slave....treated him as though he were trash....and discarded him as if he were nothing......it is partly my fault that his life is in shambles, yet when I spoke to him, he was calm. I expect that a conversation will arise from our previous talk, and it may not be altogether pleasant. I know he will hold the past against me....I also know that he will never truly be able to forgive me, but hopefully, he can see past the way I was, and see how i am now....that is all I can hope for.....
Ehrentaelik? Well, he has something planned..... but I have come to trust him.....despite who he is and what he represents.....I actually view him as a friend...though he can be a bit moody, and very standoffish....I still would trust him with a great many things........however...the fact that he utilizes talents which are generally not known unless trained by an Eladrin......fascinates me. i expect that soon we will learn of his past...but for now, i must be content to wait.....
I suppose that when I first met these people that have now become almost something akin to family...albeit a messed up, dysfunctional family, I thought that they were merely 2 dimensional creatures with no drive....it's refreshing for once to see how wrong i was....about a lot of things.
I am not who i used to be, that much is clear...and I cannot ever allow myself to return to that way of thinking.....I am not some arrogant fool with no idea of how much I still had to learn......I know my limitations....I know what is required to gain more power.......experience and hard work.....and I know that my life is not the most important. There are things worth dying for and living for....there are people worth fighting for, and I intend to do my part. When all is said and done, I will not be remembered for being the strongest, the smartest, or even the most powerful....I will be remembered for helping to make a difference....
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